The Best Relaxation
(1) Teacher : Did you write this poem youself ?
Pupil : Oh yes, every line of it.
Teacher : Well, i’m very pleased to meet you..
Mr. Shakespeare. I thought you were dead !
(2) What do misers do when it is cold ?
They sit around a candle.
And what do misers do when it is very cold ?
They light the candle !
(3) A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting ?” asked the doctor.” You have to help me, I hurt all over”, said the woman.
“What do you mean, all over ?” asked the doctor,”be a little more specific.” The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,”Ow that hurts.”
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled. ” Ouch! that hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe,” Ow, even THAT hurts”, she cried, The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis,
“You have a broken finger.”
(4) A well-dressed man was walking around an art gallery, when he stopped by one particular exhibit. “I suppose this picture of a hideous monster is what you call modern art,” he said pompously. “No sir,” replied the assistant, “That’s what we call a mirror.”
(5) Mother wakes up son in the morning. Son protests and goes back to sleep. Mother insists, ‘Come on, you are getting late for school.! ‘Can’t I bunk today ? son persists.’No’
Mother replies, ‘Why no ?’ son protests again ‘Because you are the Headmaster !” Mother exclaims.